Ask me how I feel about paying for my share of dinner, or even the whole dinner, and I will reply straight away with “Of course it’s fine, it’s the 21stcentury. Why shouldn’t women be able to take hold of the situation and pay”, but ask me if I would ever go up to a guy and say hi I would probably reply with “What!?! You have got to be kidding me, there is no way I’m going up to a guy, he should make the first move.” Yes, I know, very contradicting of me, but that’s honestly how I feel about the whole dating situation.
1, If it was up to me a guy would be the first to say hi, first to exchange numbers, the first to kiss… etc! I am aware of the fact that this is very 18thcentury of me to think this way but I can’t help it. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m shy, far too aware of my bodies flaws or just traditional, whatever the reason is I just can’t get over this fact, something which seriously prevents potential suitors! My male friends are always telling me that they find it EXTREMELY attractive if a woman was to up to them and say hi, so in theory I should be confident about going up to a guy because this would potentially mean I have more of a chance but I still can’t do it. THIS IS THE FIRST REASON I AM SINGLE!
2, I like guys who aren’t going to like me! I doubt I’m the only person who suffers from this problem, but I always go for guys who definitely aren’t looking for someone like me. Let me explain; I like literature, especially Ernest Hemingway, I keep up to date with current affairs, I could hold a lengthy conversation about British politics and I enjoy folk/country music and live comedy. Although the say opposites attract I, realistically, should be looking for someone also interested in music, perhaps even a musician, a man who could watch a whole game of tennis, no matter how long it lasted and someone who would be able to compare bottles of wine, explaining, without being patronising, why the Tuscany white is better with chicken rather than the Burgundy. On paper this is my dream man, when I try to envisage my future husband this is the kind of guy I think of, but put me in a pub full of men and I will instantly be interested in the guy with the gelled hair, football shirt, one hand on a pint glass and another around a woman wearing barely anything at all. I know there’s nothing wrong with these types of people, different strokes for different folks as my mum would say, but generally they’re not interested in someone who could easily quote F. Scott. Fitzgerald, so naturally they’re not going to want to talk to me. I think the main reason I am attracted to guys like this is because I know they won’t like me back, and so when I eventually return from the pub much later and more drunk I won’t be disappointed. It gives me a metaphorical safety net, knowing that the guy isn’t not interested in me because of me, but really because we are two very different people, living different lives.
3, My friends are very pretty and even more flirtatious. It’s hard to find confidence when you have friends who are willing to go up to a guy and flawlessly ask for their number, especially when I know if I did that I would probably trip on my way over, speak a language barely recognisable as English and turn away red-faced and unsuccessful. I think it’s far better for me to just stick with my theory of men having to go up to the guy first. It’s especially difficult when your friends are constantly having guys come up to them all night, don’t get me wrong, I do get male attention but generally I tend to get a bit scared if a man was to come up and talk to me, I know, again, not an ideal attitude to take in the dating game but it’s is, however, the attitude I have chosen to take!
4, Intimate situations scare me, A LOT! A sit down dinner is far too personal for my liking, I don’t think I would be able to hold a conversation for a good two hours. I would much rather go to a pub and having a few drinks something much more casual, unfortunately this is considered a bit of a ‘faux pas’ on a first date and should not even be suggested!
Well those are some of the reasons I think I’m single, I am sure there are many more to come, now to enjoy my friends hopeless attempts to find me love while I just sit on the side lines laughing.
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