Firstly, don’t worry; I’m not actually having a physical affair with a Chicken Royale, I won’t be appearing on any Channel 4 documentaries about freaky lovers anytime soon. But seriously, this is beginning to become a serious problem now, as mentioned in my last entry, I seem to get this idea that no one will be interested in me, so I completely scoff my face (chilli cheese bites are currently my favourite) and then moan that nobody will want me. HA! Well of course nobody is going to be asking you out on a date anytime soon if all you’re going to do is sit back, loosen your belt and shove sugar down your gob.
Also alcohol! How is a single girl supposed to drown her sorrows if all her chosen alcoholic drinks are so full of sugar and calories. Well if you ask me, either men should accept bigger girls or an anti-calorie pill should be invented because I don’t think I can handle all this ‘no junk food, no alcohol’ malarkey. While writing this I am drinking a can of ‘Brothers Strawberry Cider’ which I am horrified to find out has 108 calories in it, which is a lot if you factor in the other 7 you’ll have and the 1am kebab you’ll be drunkenly consuming, and I don’t care if it’s gone midnight it’s still classed as today!
Social conventions show that the natural habitat of a man, yes how very ‘Geographic Channel’ of me, is their local pub, so ladies we have an important decision to make. Do we:
a) Accept our loneliness for what it is and drink all the Malibu and (full fat) coke we want.
b) Continue to drink our fattening ciders and hope we can find a man who will accept us for it
c) Throw in the drinking, slip into our tightest ‘body-con’ dress and see the men for what they really are, and let me put it this way, they ain’t no George Clooney
*Sigh* It seems like us ladies are fighting a losing battle with our waistlines thanks to fast food restaurants, why do they have to make such yummy food!?! Well I am sure I’ll be back soon enough with another ‘Bridget-Jones-esque’ post about how it doesn’t matter if it says ‘Weightwatchers’ on the front, it doesn’t count as healthy if you eat the whole box of chocolate chip slices!
Until then, au revoir
x
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