"You look like Robert Pattinson!"

Alright, not the greatest chat-up line in the world, but considering it was just meant as drunken slur – more of an observation rather than compliment- it actually (somehow) worked. The unfortunate guy, who I was apparently shouting this at across the pub near closing time, turned around shocked to say the least, set his eyes on me and smiled!

Now I’m going to be honest with you right now, I was out of my comfort zone. Very rarely (never!) did I speak to a complete stranger and attempt to compliment them. This bold move came after I’d had a rubbish day at work and so naturally I chose to the most logical thing possible, I put on my new favourite summer dress, had many cocktails and blurted out the first thing that came in to my head when I saw a good-looking guy.

Now this poor unfortunate man couldn’t have been much older than me and was possibly just as drunk, if not more so. The young gentleman, who’s name I failed to remember the next day (not my finest point) sat down next to me and said, with a great deal of surprise: “Do you really think I look like Robert Pattinson? That’s the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me before!” which, let’s be honest, was the first clue that this man was not 100% sober, I’m sure for people who are fans of Robert Pattinson would be complimented if they were told they looked like him, however,  it’s probably not going to be THE KINDEST thing someone’s ever said to you!

Anyway, I ignored the fact that this man was either rather drunk or rather un-complimented his whole life, and continued to go on about his looks: “Yes, of course you do. Trust me, I’ve been forced to watch Twilight, I know what he looks like! I’m telling you right now, if you went to any table and told the people sitting there that you were a vampire no-one would question it, not one person. They would just look at each other and say ‘Hey, look this guy’s a vampire’ and then you could walk away knowing that those people really think you’re a vampire” … You may have already grasped, 1. I am not a massive vampire/Twilight fan, 2. I didn’t realise we were flirting at this moment, which is why I’m nattering on about how this guy looks like a Vampire!?!

At this point he’s laughing hysterically, surprisingly at what I’m saying not just at me in general, God knows how I am pulling it off but somehow it’s completely working!

However, and there’s always a ‘however’ (it’s normally ‘but’ except we’re ladies here) he then claims he’s a Marine, oh! Nothing wrong with a Marine, certainly not, the problem here is that:

a)      We’re in England and therefore, they’re called ‘Royal Marines’ and having met a few I know that they don’t like to be called ‘Marines’ because that’s American

b)      He was a little bit scrawny, not in a bad way, in a “I doubt you’re a Marine, let’s be honest we’ve all seen the advert with big rucksack’ kinda-way!

So now, I may be drunk but I’m not an idiot, I am faced with a blatant liar. Of course who am I kidding, that really doesn’t matter, all I care about is the fact he’s fit… you all think it too, especially at this time of night.

So he goes on about how he doesn’t go for ‘skinny’ girls, he likes girl with personality, which apparently I have “tons of” according to him … my drunken-self is start to like him but it got me wondering, was that really what matters the most? Can men genuinely find a girl attractive based on her personality alone or is this an end of a long night- drunken comment?

Well I’m not too sure of what the answer to that question is just yet, but I think that’s going to be my ‘new blog resolution’! I will report back soon

Much love

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I think I'm having a love affair with Burger King!

Firstly, don’t worry; I’m not actually having a physical affair with a Chicken Royale, I won’t be appearing on any Channel 4 documentaries about freaky lovers anytime soon. But seriously, this is beginning to become a serious problem now, as mentioned in my last entry, I seem to get this idea that no one will be interested in me, so I completely scoff my face (chilli cheese bites are currently my favourite) and then moan that nobody will want me. HA! Well of course nobody is going to be asking you out on a date anytime soon if all you’re going to do is sit back, loosen your belt and shove sugar down your gob.

Also alcohol! How is a single girl supposed to drown her sorrows if all her chosen alcoholic drinks are so full of sugar and calories. Well if you ask me, either men should accept bigger girls or an anti-calorie pill should be invented because I don’t think I can handle all this ‘no junk food, no alcohol’ malarkey. While writing this I am drinking a can of ‘Brothers Strawberry Cider’ which I am horrified to find out has 108 calories in  it, which is a lot if you factor in the other 7 you’ll have and the 1am kebab you’ll be drunkenly consuming, and I don’t care if it’s gone midnight it’s still classed as today!

Social conventions show that the natural habitat of a man, yes how very ‘Geographic Channel’ of me, is their local pub, so ladies we have an important decision to make. Do we:

a)      Accept our loneliness for what it is and drink all the Malibu and (full fat) coke we want.

b)      Continue to drink our fattening ciders and hope we can find a man who will accept us for it

c)       Throw in the drinking, slip into our tightest ‘body-con’ dress and see the men for what they really are, and let me put it this way, they ain’t no George Clooney

*Sigh* It seems like us ladies are fighting a losing battle with our waistlines thanks to fast food restaurants, why do they have to make such yummy food!?! Well I am sure I’ll be back soon enough with another ‘Bridget-Jones-esque’  post about how it doesn’t matter if it says ‘Weightwatchers’ on the front, it doesn’t count as healthy if you eat the whole box of chocolate chip slices!

Until then, au revoir

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